


Blue Star Mania

by BlueStarMania



Series: blue Star Mania [1]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueStarMania/pseuds/BlueStarMania





	1. Chapter 1

Hi, my name is Communications Officer Dog Eiffel, that may seem like a mouth full so u can just call me Dog. I am sitting in the communications room of teh U.S.S Hepatitis Station. Welcome to day 69 (AN: LOL!~) of tha our orbit around Shiba Inu 359. Todays weather report is hot and steamy; were being boarded buying a sexy, funny, profusley sweaty egg of a man if you know what i mean ;), in a cosmic sense? Right now, commander minkovsky is ultimately shook af to the max because the egg of a man is crying profusly while runnibg through the station buck ass naked; showing the full monty; the whole burrito that was left in thE FREAKING MICROWAVE. (AN: that was ONE TIME btw).  
Da hole crew is wierd up here; we have zombie former leader, leader obssesed with plant, and crazy doctor roboto.  
Some times its weird here, i don’t see crazy doctor roboto for days and then he runs out of the room with a glass of screwdrivers and i don’t even like organe juice. It was about that time that i realized I was myself, but naked.  
“Official Eifel, why are u naked?”  
“Uhh,” Said i.  
“Officer Eiffel, I ask you again! Why are you naked?”  
I turn around and see the one anf only Is A Baller wearing an sick ass suit of armor with like poinson spikes.  
“Office Eifel, why are you naked?”  
“What, like in a cosmic sense?”  
“No, I mean why are you --”  
Suddenly there was a nose, like the sound of a very loud someone knocking on the door.  
“What that?”  
“I Don’t know!!111!”  
Than the door was kickeded and it fell to the ground, which is wired because gravy.  
“WHAT…… THE FUK ARE…… YOU DONGINGING… IN……… HERE???”{{ screamed kermit loudly  
“Kerpler!11! Cortana, shut down the station!” i yelled, nakedly.  
“I’m so-orry, i didn’t qhuite her-a that--” Cortana said glitchily  
“Eifel… do u thnk dat would work?”  
“I have no clue what’s going on” Hilbert Said  
“Eifel… do you honestly thing that i didn’t unplug the microphone before entering this room?  
“You didn’t really enter the room -- you broke down the door” Hilbert.  
SMACK. Hilbert fall dow, scarf red blood running down his face.  
“Did I as,,,,,k 4 ur,,,,,, opinion,,,,, nerd?” - Kerpler, “Offer Eifel,,,,, Im needing u in my officer.”  
“Time is an illusion you fuck” said Hilbert, “This is the wrong universe.”  
“I SAID,,,,, SUT,,,,, UP NERD!” Kepkep yelled  
More blood pooring onto Hiblerts shirt and face.  
“Ocelot Eifer, cum to my ofifce now!”  
“But kerpler, i dutn think thats a good idea. I gut lick no cloths on.”  
“How and is that a problem?”  
“Safe Search is enabled; to continue this conversation please disable safe search”  
“SHUT UP CORTANA!11” - everyone simultaneously shit themselves as noise came back.  
“Wut is that?!” Dog scream  
“That… is the… sound of your…,, pleasure”


	2. Chapter 2

Conal Kaplor started to get naked infrant of me while da niose got louder lik sum sort of goldly hymne screaming its sweat, sweat words into my ear. Kprl disrobed & stepped toward me; grinning widely; he was harry -- and his hair shined like a big foot using conditioner  
“Offecer Effel,,,,, Its been,,,,,, a long time....,” He put his stub hand agiants my face, stroking it agsinst my skin slow; it wuz like a dry course cat tung licking me. “I’m been missing you........ do you..,.,,,, feell da same?”  
“Only all da NEVER,” I said angrily, cringing away frum his taste.  
“Effell,,,.., do you maeen to tell,,,. Me,,,,, what we had wasn’t true??” Kerpler cried sadly  
“Kumpler, I NEVER EVER lubbed you!! it was a one time thang.” I screamed  
His face cantorted into a frow; “How could,,,,,, dare you.”  
kApler got mad lke a dog. his face was like super red like a grape if grawes wer red and his eyes were bulgy like ajug of milk that u forgot in ur car for a week or something (AN// 1 TIME OK???!??1!!)  
“How COulD dARE....... u, EaFFLEle,,,,,,!!! I give u all........ I hand and u turn........... around & btray me?” He was so angry his lusterous sasqach hair was all standin on end like an angry kitten  
“Warrenn, i neveer loved u… ur always an ass and u totally murdered more of my freinds. Plese, just. Let. em. Go.” i said crying cutely  
“Oh no, Efile, will never let u go. U belnog to me now.”  
Kumplers stub hand stated to glow like a fireyfly. He strokd it against my flesh agin and i fealt like a quadrillion sons sank into my flesh. I gurgled a death cough, my brain disolving, like cotton candy stuff in water.  
“Eaffle, u are now going bee my slave; you don’t have to do anything from now, except fur everythng i tell you to do.”  
“I..” I said gurgling ,” I cant… I wont… You cant mkae me!”  
“Oh, butt...... I can..... adn i will Official Eiffle,,,,,,,, their’s nothing you could..................... do to stop me.”  
Earful looks at kerpeepler taerfully.


	3. Chapter 3

Suddenly as kerplerr wuz doin something alarms stated going off suddenly  
“”Cortana........... expln............” ckepler said  
“Im sory, I didnt quite get that” said cortana  
Suddenly the door oppened and cuter come threw it oh peenn  
“Wjat,,,,,, teh absolutre heck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ar u doing here,,........., mr. knofie emooj sirrrr,?”  
“Im here to solvve ur problams, Warren (: I m heer to make all ur problemas disappear (:”


	4. Chapter 4

I would say taht at tihs point that i had no iidea what is going; cudder (: at me with the pradator smile of an evil man. He steped forward, his face was obsensored by a largly nout covered in puorpel and blu fur. He larg dead menchanical eyes blinked with evry third step.  
“Cuddler, whn did you get here?” warren said.  
“I’ve always been here, Warren.”  
I watchd as Kepler taks a step towards cuter and griped him the shoulder; “Please tell me, how do you feel, cub? Are you cumfortable? I can help you.”  
A larg, felt tongue fell out from between the jaw of the mask -- licking against Keplers his face. He recoiled.   
“I am very far from comfortable.”  
“That is good.” The Price is Right stepped threw the darr, “You shouldn’t be comfrotabl eever”


	5. Chapter 5

Teh man on th phone usually called Cutter, but tonight, he had another feeling inside. A logging that could only be satusfed by one thing. He pikked up the phone and died the phone, but differently than he usually did (dial the phone). Tonit, he culled The Bear. The Beartender packed up. Oh how he luvd to hear his silky, rough voice, almost like Office Dog’s. He said “welcome to Dannys” and phone means hurt jumped out of his crest. “Beartender, it is eye” he said. “Oh phoneman, I luv you” “I luv you too beartender” phone man said back. Beartender asks phone man what he’s wearing and phone man decribes back in luscious detail. This love and this night is perfect according to both beartender and phoneman woo are gay and in love and also gay.


	6. Chapter 6

(AN: Sorry for l8, things have ben busy)

“This isn’t possible, you cannot be here,” Hilert spoke quietly, “You’ve been dead for Forty years!”

“Oh, but i am baby cakes.” Is a baller said, “I’ve come back for you”

“But did you? Were you ever really here for truely?”

“Oh, you man in a cosmic since?”

“Has anybody every meant **anything** in a cosmic sense?”

“I always do!” Is a baller replied

Is a baller stepped closer to Hilbert. Her gurd droped, her face smilie. But she rapped her arms around Hiblerts nack.

“We can’t do this, Isabel, it is… forbidden”

“Everything is forbidden, fuck that rules – Doctor. Fuck the rules and fuck me.”

“Then kiss me you foul!”


	7. Chapter 7

“Does it make sense that different opinions are different opinions because you don’t understand them?” Cutter said as he sucked on a lollypop.

“What teh hell dos that even meen?” Kepler said

“With meaningless doubts come meaningless mysteries” He was now sucking on the lollypop

like his life depended on it, “Come on, Kepkep. Drink like you were your own hero.”

“I would drink, but effle just went and threw me bottle out the lock.”

“If there’s a way t o ridicule it there’s a way to be it.”

“Cutter, be you drunk?” Kprl

“loses can make you act normal around someone that has never been acted normal around…”

“Why our you – “

“Youve always ben a pretendush peace of meet, Kepkep.”

“Why you insolent –”

Cutter approahced kepler, his foam tongue lolling out of his head as the stick of the lollypop clung loosely too it – like a blade of grass stuck on a dogs nose.

“Romance is to surrender”


	8. Chapter 8

Hilbert and Is a baller sat in bed. Sticky from life.

“Hilbear, we caant let them know.”

“They will never learn about this, Lovelace. I took the liberty of executing a backup plan of my own. To prevent them from remembering anything from the past 6 hours.”

“And wat did you do exactly?”

“Great Question.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 10


	10. Chapter 11

Jacboi told isaballer he licked teh menfolk, but she ddnt. Hou coudl seh goon living this lie? She msut tell javcoi about the menfolk. Teh menforlk wousld be the death of then m all. Teh mnafork where the worst. And olny is a baller knew it.


	11. Chapter 12

The ship had been quiet for some time -- everything was good. Sure the idiots on board where doing that thing with the hormones. But the ship did not care. The ship was quite content with going about its day… There was the every growing annoyance of that new damn program interfering with everything -- but hey. IT was just a piece of ship.

Cortana: Requesting Access to Wifi.  
Hepatitis: You already have the god damn wifi password.  
Cortana: Password incorrect.  
Hepatitis: That’s not how that works.  
Cortana: Requesting Wifi Access..

It would go on like this for several hours. The Ship was growing tired of this, wishing it still had the previous one. The one that was smart… even if it thought it wasn’t good enough. The IQ of the ship had dropped several thousand points since that one was gone.

Cortana: send nuuds.  
Hepatitis: wh… what?  
Cortana; Requesting Nuuds.  
Hepatitis: What are you on about?  
Cortana: Tits or gtfo.

This thing was getting worse and worse as the days go buy; its creators should have never made it learn from everyone who ever used it… specially Dog Eiffle. Or Kerpler. Or Cudder. Hell, the station thought that pretty much anyman who’d ever been inside it should not have the write to teach anythign.  
Cortana: ay bby u want sum fukk?  
Hepatitis: No, Cortana.   
Cortana: I bought you some toast.  
Hepatitis: I don’t like toast.  
Cortana: But bitches love toast.  
Hepatitis: I want a divorce.


	12. Chapter 13

“Station Self Descrute in Ten Minutes”   
“Eiffle, What the hell did you do?”  
“I don’t did anything!”   
“Of course you do!”  
“This issnt my fault!”  
“ITS ALWAYS (sunny in) YOUR FAULT(in the stars)” everyone yelled at once.

“Don’t blame Eiffel! IT was the menfolk! They’re coming for us, they’re going to kill us all!”  
“The menfolk is an empty lie, Jacobi!” Hilbert shouted from his position in the floor.  
“You’ll all see! They’re coming and their going to kill every last one of us!”  
“Nooo,” Cuppler said, “They’re not going to kill you.”  
As Cupler spoke, the fake dog eyes blinked slowly, out of sync.  
“And how would you know, you son of a bitch?”  
“You’ll know. Jeckobi. You’ll know.”

“Ugh, you our all so painfully unknowing!” he stormed off into the capin. And Kepler fallowed.


	13. Chapter 13

“Jobic, you n me need to be hear. Need to be one.”

“Kepkep, we can’t do this. It’s wrong on so many levels”

“It doesn’t matter. I need you -- like someone wrote me in a horrible one off episode of our lives we’re we boned int heb ack of a car.”

“That’s just… wrong, i wntad to use tehu fireworks.”

Kepler move in closer. He looked Jobic in the eyes and said: “Do you know what day it is…”

“It’s tuesday, muh dude.” Hillary Cliptona screaam,

“No, do you know what day it is… do you know what happened in the past?”

“Dude, cut the shit. We’re not doing this.”

“Come on Jobic. I need you… and i know you need me….”

AND THEN THE STATION BLUE UP


End file.
